Listen up, ya bunch of Knotheads and Sour Patch Kids! Do you like what I did there? I pretended as though my nickname for you, dear fans of mine, was an insult. It’s not, though. You wear it as a badge of honor. Put that on your resumés. Write on the top of it, “Proud … Continue reading Twitter & Torn
Live & Uncensored: Gillibranded
Hey Knotheads and other fans of mine, it’s me—Corey Taylor—back again to do my moral obligation as the greatest and most handsome singer of all time to bring you my thoughts on stuff. Some may ask, what about Ronnie James Dio, Rob Halford, or Bruce Dickinson? Aren’t they greater? The answer is NO. I’m the … Continue reading Live & Uncensored: Gillibranded
Breaking News: Trump Wrestles CNN?
Hello COMRADES, it’s Jesse “The Newsman” Ventura here again to DELIVER you the latest HARD HITTING news. On Sunday July 2, Donald Trump, the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, retweeted a video of him wrestling the CNN in a no-holds-barred fight. First of ALL, if THIS video were real—which I’ll get to inna MINUTE—it would … Continue reading Breaking News: Trump Wrestles CNN?
Breaking News w/Jesse “The Newsman” Ventura: #covfefe
Hello FOLKS, this is Jesse “The Newsman” Ventura bringing you nothing but the REAL news, not that fake CRAP delivered to you by none other than the Rothschilds themselves. Our brother Chris Berman is TAKING some TIME off while he copes with a personal TRAGEDY. I believe THAT was a political hit by the DNC … Continue reading Breaking News w/Jesse “The Newsman” Ventura: #covfefe