Quest for the Apron, Pt. 2

The remaining octogenarians compete for the remaining 12 spots in the MasterChef kitchen. Today's retirement home cooks must cook to the death in an assortment of challenges involving prunes, hard candy, and getting home in time to catch the Wheel.

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Breaking News: Death from Above

Hello folks, Jesse "The Newsman” Ventura here bringing you the REAL news straight from the TURNbuckle of TRUTH. Reuters has reported that AUSTRALIA is planning on unLEASHING a series of shark deTECTing drones in an atteMPT to make its beaches safer for the children. These ROBOTS can supposedly DETECT sharks from not-sharks swimming around in … Continue reading Breaking News: Death from Above

MasterChef Senior, “Quest for the Apron, Pt. 1”

In this series premiere, 20 octogenarians compete for 8 of the Top 20 spots in the MasterChef® Kitchen™ for a chance to win the MasterChef® Trophy™ and a year’s supply of batteries from the Duracell® corporation and hard candy from the Ferrara Candy Company®. Before they can get their white apron, these retirement home cooks … Continue reading MasterChef Senior, “Quest for the Apron, Pt. 1”

Breaking News: The Atomic Supermen

Hello again MAGGOTS, it’s your ol’ PAL Jesse “The Newsman” Ventura here break some NEWS into your body. United States scientists have successfully MODIFIED the DNA of a VIAble human embryo using some thing called CRISPR. No folks, that ain’t no dating APP for fans of George Hamilton. No, it’s SOMEthing FAR more nefarious. While … Continue reading Breaking News: The Atomic Supermen