Breaking News: Straight Dope

Hello again folks, it’s your ol’ pal Jesse “The Newsman” Ventura here to RATTLE the cages and break this folding CHAIR of KNOWLedge over your puny little skulls. News dropped today from the InterNATIONAL Olympic Committee that the nation of Russia will be BARRED from the 2018 games as punishment for systematic state-SPONSORED doping at … Continue reading Breaking News: Straight Dope

Breaking News: Trick or Treat?

Hello again, COMRADES, it’s Uncle Jesse “The Newsman” Ventura here again to TWIST you into the full Nelson of TRUTH! It’s HalloWEEN time and that means that real, ACTUAL goblins and ghouls will be out LURKING the streets. The only WAY to quench their thirst for BLOOD is to give them Halloween candy. At least … Continue reading Breaking News: Trick or Treat?

Breaking News: Death from Above

Hello folks, Jesse "The Newsman” Ventura here bringing you the REAL news straight from the TURNbuckle of TRUTH. Reuters has reported that AUSTRALIA is planning on unLEASHING a series of shark deTECTing drones in an atteMPT to make its beaches safer for the children. These ROBOTS can supposedly DETECT sharks from not-sharks swimming around in … Continue reading Breaking News: Death from Above

Breaking News w/Chris Berman: Jury Convicts Woman for Laughing at Jeff Sessions

Look out folks, this one is a doozy! HuffPost is reporting that a jury has convicted Desiree “Let’s Go to the” Fairooz for laughing during the Jeff “Studio” Sessions's confirmation hearing when it was said that Sessions treats people equally and fairly, even if they aren’t racially white. Whoop whoop! Not sure why they’ve asked … Continue reading Breaking News w/Chris Berman: Jury Convicts Woman for Laughing at Jeff Sessions