Paint It Black

Knotheads, Sour Patch Kids, and friends of the Corey Taylor rejoice! It is I—Corey Taylor—bringing you my thoughts once again. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Several months, at least. I didn’t mean to take such a long break, you know, but, like, I had shit to do, and stuff. Yeah, I know. Slipknot hasn’t really done much lately, but so what? We do more than just music, you clowns!

That’s no diss to my buddy Clown, by the way. I didn’t mean it in a derogatory way. If I could take back that use of “clown” as an insult just there, I would. But since it is already written, I cannot unwrite it. That’s actually how the first Stone Sour record came to be. I wrote it, but then I thought, “Gee, you know, I could probably do better.” I couldn’t, though! I already wrote all the songs. So I had to go in there and record them anyway, even though I knew I could have written them better. But so is life.

Speaking of music, Metallica just SMASHED records as their Black Album (aka Metallica) spent its 500th non-consecutive week on the Billboard Top 200 chart. I want to make it clear, folks. When I said “SMASHED records”, I was attempting humor. You see, I meant “records” as in some sort of high achievement, but I also meant it in the musical sense. Metallica is a band, and they put out records. Double meaning. You’ll get it.

breakdown
Ka-CHOW!

Now, some people might be jealous of Metallica for their success. For example, Chadface McKroeger from Nickelback is probably steaming mad in his two-bedroom apartment above a bowling alley. Look, I mean no disrespect to those living in two-bedroom apartments above bowling alleys. No disrespect at all. Again, if I could take back that insult, I would. But I can’t. What I was trying to say is that Nickelback is stupid.

Anyway, I think this is really cool for Metallica. Someday I think Slipknot’s Iowa will set that record. Probably not next week. I’m not great at math, but we’re probably at least a few weeks shy of that record. Not sure. I’ll have to check with Clown about that. Sorry again about that Clown comment earlier, Clown. I didn’t mean anything by it.

So yeah. It’s pretty cool that Metallica accomplished that. It’s a pretty good album. It’s not my favorite, but it’s still pretty good. I’ll have to congratulate Lars the next time I see him. We hang out.

 


 

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